The Potioneers
by chelley.rising
Summary: In which the ministry forces a makeover upon Severus Snape and Hermione Granger must race against time to save the world. ON HIATUS: check out my new story which I'm determined to finish, "Bloodstream" Dr/H


Prologue

"I don't believe in plastic surgery but in your case…go ahead." -Unknown

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Severus Snape awoke to a curious tingling sensation originating on his face. In fact, after a quick consideration, he discovered that not only was his face tingling, but his entire body was as well. He was comfortably warm, however, and the (table?) he rested upon was firm, but squishy and soft, and so he gave into the silly temptation to wiggle his toes against the cushy fabric. The entire situation would be quite relaxing, in fact, if it wasn't for the slightly unpleasant feeling of being poked with hundreds of needles.

Fighting off the waves of warmth and sleep that threatened to overtake him, Severus forced himself to sit upright and slowly open his eyes. It was upon the realization that he was stark naked, laying on a table, that his brain jumped into gear.

In a practiced move that one only obtains after spending years on guard in the middle of a war zone, Snape leapt out of bed and crouched next to the bed side table, grabbing his wand that was laying there in the process. He immediately put his back to the wall, eyeing the simple wooden door situated on the left side of the room. His mind was going 100 miles per minute.

 _Where am I why am I in this room who put me here why not take my wand why can't I remember anything…_

His mind slowed as he realized that he was indeed alone and safe for the time being. "Safe" being a relative word, as he had no idea what was done to him while unconscious. For all he knew, he could have some type of incurable disease racing through his veins…

Brushing those thoughts aside, Snape catalogued his surroundings.

' _White walls,'_ he thought, _'not unlike a hospital.'_ But Severus was a man that was intimately familiar with the corridors of St. Mungo's, and likewise crossed the institution off his list.

' _White walls, a comfortable bed- not table, with rails…simple furniture….only one bedside table with a lamp and-'_ his thoughts came to a standstill as he took in the only other object in the room: a ridiculously large mirror. Positioned in the back corner of the room, opposite that of the door, the full length mirror was one he figured would look more at home in a muggle department store than _wherever the fuck_ he was now. A particularly large tingle erupted on his nose and on instinct, he reached up to smack it…only to find that his nose did not feel like _his_ nose.

He frowned. What was going on?

Gingerly smoothing a hand over his face (the tingles were receding but his skin still felt rather sensitive…or better yet _new_ ), his brows became even more furrowed as his fingertips mapped out the changes he could not see. His face felt…well, it felt…

He abruptly began walking towards the mirror, slowing his footsteps as he drew nearer to the large glass.

His face felt _different._

His cheekbones, always a bit too high in his opinion, now felt perfectly level. His jaw felt chiseled and smooth. His eyes- deep set after years of stress and sleepless nights, felt wrinkle free; over all his skin felt firm and satin-like.

This was _not_ his face.

Taking the last few steps forward and placing himself directly in front the mirror, Severus closed his eyes, not entirely sure he was ready to see what would be reflected back.

It was in that moment upon reopening his eyes that Severus Snape, aged 43, achieved another lifetime first: one look in the mirror was all it took before he let out a blood curdling scream, dropping to the ground thence after in a dead faint.

Elsewhere in the building, the new interim Minister of Magic, Elfram Waite, shifted anxiously behind his desk. This would not be good.

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a/n: Hello there! Hope you all enjoyed this little tease of a chapter :P I haven't written in foreverrrr but I suddenly found myself being attacked by a rampant plot bunny which could not be ignored. I have a pretty vague outline of what I want to happen written down, which is good for me! That means I actually have an idea of where I want this to go. Anywho, reviews are like crack- they push me to write faster! So please, let me know what you think. Lol poor Snape, his troubles have only just begun…*laughs evilly*


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